CLAIM: Liar-in-Chief Donald tRump recently claimed that New Zealand has seen a “surge” in COVID-19 cases.
FALSE. Prime Minister Jacinda Arden herself has said that tRump is lying. The Level Three lockdown is intended only as a preventative measure, as are the five hundred additional storm troopers she has called in to guard her concentration camps and prevent further escapes.
“My mistress doesn’t particularly care to refer to them as ‘concentration camps’, the Prime Minister’s fiancé told NPC Daily. “She prefers to think of them as re-education facilities since the goal is to teach the occupants proper COVID etiquette and how to be a civil neighbor.”
“My mistress says that we cannot expect the noble savage to comprehend 21st century hygiene. Which is why her prisoners are overwhelmingly Maori.
- Clarke Gayford, future wife to Jacinda Ardern
By all accounts, Mx. Ardern has done a very progressive job of containing the spread of the virus. Her two-pronged approach of locking down borders while locking up ethnic minorities has been widely praised by world leaders such as Chinese President Xi Jinping and New York Governor Andrew “Elder Brother” Cuomo, and the The Guardian recently gushed over her decision to delay New Zealand’s elections — describing the move as “magnanimous and conciliatory” as it is her own re-election she is delaying.
This comes in stark contrast to the “Constitutional” approach of her American counterpart, proving once again that tRump is a literal fascist who does not believe that Black Lives Matter. (If Mx. Ardern had any black people in her country, no doubt she would be extending her protective custody to them as well.)
Still, the Prime Minister is not without her critics. Yet seeing how none of the criticisms levied against her have come from principled progressives, such criticisms can be easily dismissed.
Why ya lockin' down then, Jacinda? Why are you deploying the army around isolation hotels? Why are you guys passing bills that make it possible to enter without warrants, just 'suspicions'?—, Tomato MemeQueen Supreme™ (@sourpatchlyds) August 19, 2020
I mean, if it's patently WRONG that there's a big surge, what am I missing? pic.twitter.com/57BZcZgmrW
NPC Daily will continue to bring you updates on the heroic reign of Jacinda Ardern and the abysmal failure that is the tRump presidency.
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