Culture

Muppets of color team up with Michelle Obama to educate children about race

Critical Race Theory comes to Sesame Street

COVID-19 has already claimed the lives of three quarters of the world’s population, and we haven’t even started in on waves three and four. Yet nine out of ten health experts agree: racism is the far deadlier pandemic, one that cannot be cured without greater unity between the Biden administration and multinational corporate entities.

(The tenth expert has been permanently suspended from Twitter.)

Which is why the Department of Education is teaming up with muppets of color and Michelle Obama to educate children about race.

“In order to understand race, our kids need to learn how to talk about race,” the former First Lady told our sister publication The Root. “So I invited my ‘home boy’ Roosevelt Franklin over to my ‘crib’ to talk some ‘jive’ and help me identify the ABCs of racism.”

This groundbreaking new curriculum seeks to educate children on the most critical racial issues of our day — white privilege, white supremacy, white toxicity and the necessity of eradicating whiteness — while addressing some of the tougher questions kindergarteners might not even know they had.

When is a Muslim not a Muslim? Why don’t 91.5% of black lives matter to white progressives? How did slave catchers evolve into the modern-day police force, and why are they continuing to hunt POCs for sport? Elmo and Mx. Obama offer comprehensive answers to which young children can truly relate.

READ: Racists appropriate FBI crime statistics, suggest only 8.5% of black lives matter to progressives

READ: NPC Daily Fact Check — Is Michelle Obama a racist?

Federally funded to the tune of $50 million, the series is scheduled to hit classrooms after spring break (at which point it will become necessary to return to remote learning anyway) and wrap up just in time for the 2021 Race Riots.

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Staff Writer

One of our wage slave writers contracted with NPC Daily. Repeat after me - orange man bad. Everything on this site is satire.

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