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“They’re mansplaining!” Universities stop hiring male professors as students decry mansplaining

When mansplaining gets the repercussions it deserves

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CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS – Future nation leaders from the liberal arts, organized by the naturally brave Gender Studies majors and their professor, led a protest decrying the abuse they experience through mansplaining made by their male university instructors while teaching their classes.

“Just because he has a Master’s Degree in Data Architecture and a Ph.D in Artificial Intelligence, doesn’t mean he’s qualified to teach Computer Science!” a gender-fluid male-at-birth assigned Gender Studies major stated.

Another student, who identifies as transnational Mexican grey gender female-at-birth assigned Theater Arts major, supported the statement saying “Our university thinks that just because a man has years of experience means he can teach. No! Women can be logical too. He is just mansplaining so that means he cannot teach!!!”

The Academic Deans’ Office, upon hearing the sound reasoning of the student leaders, halted all hiring for male instructors indefinitely. The Academic Deans’ Office also warned current male instructors that should they not find a way to stop mansplaining, they’ll be on the chopping board.

To find out more about this progressive policy to end the abuse caused by mansplaining on campus, we decided to talk to the Gender Studies professor responsible for this enlightenment.

Unfortunately, when we reached his office for a comment, we were told that the professor had to leave early to take his wife to her boyfriend’s apartment for the weekend. We can’t help but be in awe of this man. So brave.

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When NPC Daily gets an exceptional submission on the "submit an article page", it's posted from NPC Contributor. Everything on this site is satire.

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