Culture

“What’s the point? Men can’t find it anyway!” Feminists Rejoice with Historic Ruling Allowing Female Genital Mutilation

One small cut for women. One giant blow to the Patriarchy.

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DETROIT, MICHIGAN – Another battle has been won by the #Resistance as a Michigan Judge ruled that the Federal Government’s ban on Female Genital Mutilations is unconstitutional. “This issue must be settled on the State level” the Judge wrote in his court ruling.

The fight against the Patriarchy has intensified over the past number of weeks since Brett “I like Beer and Rape” Kavanaugh was appointed to the Supreme Court.

“It is an important landmark win for us feminists since we’re all about doing whatever we want with our bodies!” exclaimed a female supporter of the ruling, continuing “I’m having mine cut off next week. Because what’s the point? Men can’t find it anyway!”

“We’ve given men the time to look for it, and time just ran out!” Another woman celebrating the ruling outside the courthouse said.

This good news also comes as a big victory for the Women’s March as the movement’s critics lambasted the organization for not having any lasting impact.

“Where are the haters now?” A spokeswoman for the Women’s March blasted their haters on Twitter. Serves them right. See? The Women’s March was good for something!

The European Union also praised the move, admitting “We are ashamed to admit that the United States is beating us towards the path towards true Sharia Law!”

#MeToo #Diversity

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