While I was drinking my gluten-free matcha tea during a gender-fluid non-binary slam poetry session in Swarthmore about how a struggling artist was oppressed by her White grandmother asking for a hug during the Holidays, and how her Asian landlady kept asking for her 3-month-late rent payment, I realized – White Men aren’t oppressing us by themselves. They have accomplices!
Let me be clear: White Men are still oppressors because they’re privileged and nothing can even touch them. But I feel like White Men are so 2016 and we dragged that all the way to 2018. It’s understandable. #MeToo #NeverKavanaugh and the rest of it. White Men are like bell bottom jeans and neon at this point; everybody knows I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing those in 2019. The time has come to renew our feeling of oppression by reminding ourselves that oppression is everywhere and we are oppressed every single moment of every single day.
There are more groups out there who are perpetuating the hate through misogyny and xenophobia in our society. I’ll be listing my two picks on who should join White Men in our Most Despised list:
53% of White Women voted for Donald Trump in 2016 – How could they not support Hillary? They’re women after all, and all women should have been supporting Hillary Clinton!
They give birth to White Men so naturally, problems should be solved right at the roots. I am offering a final solution to our White Men problem: White women should be next on our list because they give birth to White Men!
Most men prefer White Women over the rest of us – This is exactly what’s wrong with the world. Why do men like pristinely-kept women who take care of their partners and act relatively feminine OVER strong and independent women like us who spend every waking moment calling out the bullshit of men, society, and other women? White women are hogging all the attention! We deserve attention too!
They think working hard is better than protesting all day – Since when did working hard and proving yourself as a contributing member of society become a better quality than fighting for your right to free education, free healthcare, a living wage, and recognition for your gender?
They can’t see properly so they’re not as woke as us – Asians need to wake up to the fact that oppression is everywhere. That’s why we need to open their eyes and show them how oppression feels like!
They’re whiter than most white people – Have you seen their skincare products? They’re amazing. I mean, so terrible that they’re striving to be as white as possible. We need to let them know that whiteness of skin signifies privilege and being part of the oppressive elite. That’s why my friends and I always go to this tanning salon that costs upwards of $500 per session but totally worth it to make the refugees feel welcome.
We need to decide soon. Cast your vote today!
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