A dozen Michigan lawmakers drafted legislation today that will force all fast food joints that offer toys with children’s meals to also furnish one certificate for a sex change for the toy.
“We feel it important that if a seven year old child wants to give their toy a sex change, then they should be allowed to get one.” Said State Rep. Leslie Love, D-Detroit, who is the primary sponsor. “If we didn’t pay for it as taxpayers, we would be discriminating against trans toys.”
The state of Michigan is going to give gender reassignment training to all of the fast food workers so they can perform the operation right there while the kids eat. “Not only does this tell barely-aware children that gender reassignment is good, it gives valuable skills to fast food workers.” Stated Representative Love.
When asked how they felt about the training, the worker behind the counter said, “Whatever, man. I already grind up meat. Might as well grind up dolls meat.”
But not everyone is as open minded. Bigoted and sexist Governor Rick Snyder does not want to use taxpayer dollars to fund the new, more sensitive way of life. “Parents should wait until children are old enough to understand what is going on before melting Ken’s manhood or gouging Barbie’s gash.” He said while high-fiving a Catholic Priest, “They need time to be kids, football players, soccer players, alter boys.”
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took to twitter to tell us her thoughts. After two blank tweets she said, “Someone asked if I thought the economic impact of this bill would be severe. I said ‘it aint severe enough!”
In response, all of the major food chains began development of “gender fluid” dolls. Sadly the projects came to an early end when none of the corporations could define “gender fluid.”
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