Trump plans to ban recycling through executive order

An executive order is about to make recycling a federal crime

Everyone knows the biggest issue facing America: global warming. Even republicans are getting it now, thanks to Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, whose Green New Deal is supported by practically everyone – But President Trump doesn’t see it that way. He is poised to sign an executive order that would make it illegal to recycle trash.

We can all put our trash in one can. They dump all this shit in a big landfill any way. Its not separated.

  • President Donald Trump

This means if you separate your trash into two, or several for the real green fighters, trash containers, you would violate this new federal law. “We will fine em the first time they get caught; we won’t lock em up on a first offense,” said an insider. Angry at the millions of “green collar jobs” created by President Obama (as he promised), Trump plans to undo all of that progress with the stroke of his bully pen through yet another unconstitutional executive order.

“This crap all gets thrown in the ocean together anyway; who gives a shit.” the president said while watching hockey. Students Against Pollution (“SAP”) spokesman Natalie P. Collins from the Nebraska Philanthropic Center, in an exclusive interview gasped, “He is so horrible, I can’t breathe.” Trump is set to sign the executive order within the coming days. If you care about our planet, you need to vote for higher taxes and socialism now more than ever!

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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