NASA Warns Saturn’s Rings Disappearing: “Worst Case Scenario”

Trump to blame for new threat to solar system

We are all familiar with the beautiful rings that surround the planet Saturn. In a shocking announcement, NASA scientists have discovered that these rings are disappearing in a “worst case scenario” rate of speed. These iconic rings have less than one hundred million years before they disappear forever.

There is the global warming that effects our planet earth, but there is also an entire solar system of climate change out there, and a Green New Deal is more important than ever to save the entire universe.

  • Sources inside NASA

Everyone is shocked and anxious about this development, and wondering what will happen when the rings are gone. “Once the rings are gone, we won’t get them back again,” warned the source, visibly shaken with the discovery.

Study finds Saturn’s rings are disappearing and it’s almost entirely Trump’s fault

When asked at a press conference what his plan to stop this tragedy, President Trump scoffed that the Green New Deal is a waste of money and that common sense climate science is a joke. “Americans are not causing the rings to disappear; get a better telescope if you want to see the rings better!” jeered the President.

Every country except the U.S. quickly signed the “Global World Order Clean Space Accord” today, sponsored by Globe Without Borders (“GWB”) and endorsed by the U.N. “We visited him, looking for his support”, said Noel-Pierre Clouseau, General Secretary of the GWB. “First Trump asked me to pull his finger, then said with a smirk, ‘I’ll give you some global warming!‘”

We showed him alarming photos and the data that proved the rings would last only between 100 million to 300 million years. “You’ve got rings around Uranus, get it?” continued Clouseau. “We left without a signature, and feeling very marginalized”, said the GWB czar.

NPC Daily is concerned about the solar system, and we will be following this story closely.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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