How Barron Trump controls the White House

12-Year Old Making Major Policy Decisions

By B.W. Styles, Chief White House Correspondent

Some of President Trump’s closest advisers are concerned that Barron Trump appears to be coalescing power within the White House. Barron is responsible for forcing John Kelly out of his Chief of Staff position and is behind the partial government shutdown, our sources confirm.

One former high-ranking White House staffer said that Barron’s involvement in policy decisions started after the inauguration.

“President Trump doesn’t read. He has others read policy papers for him and summarize the information,” our source said. “Barron will read a 100-page position paper and condense the summary down to a couple of words.” Our source said, most other staffers would take several minutes to explain a lengthy paper.

After Barron’s 12th birthday, President Trump moved Barron’s X-box into the west wing. On many occasions, Barron will play Call of Duty and bark orders to staffers while talking on a headset. “Barron will yell, ‘Die Mother-ucker,’” our source said. “It would scare us until we saw Barron was on the X-Box talking to his friends. It’s is not professional and no way to run a government.”

In the last two weeks, Barron forced out of government Kelly and James Mattis. Our source further confirmed Barron was the first to suggest shutting down the government until money for a southern border wall is secured.

“President Trump only trusts his family. Ivanka still has the most power, Jared Kushner once was second fiddle. But, now Trump asks Ivanka for her opinion, then gets Barron’s opinion. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks,” our source said.

NPC Contributor

When NPC Daily gets an exceptional submission on the "submit an article page", it's posted from NPC Contributor. Everything on this site is satire.
Back to top button