Democrats introduce bill to replace Electoral College with votes from the United Nations

Ridding the US of the electoral college is the only way to get the president we want

Let’s face it: nearly everyone knows that the electoral college should be done away with. The “electoral college” was written into the constitution by old white men who were angry at Europe, yet now Europe is the undisputed leader in globalization. The electoral college is the only reason that Trump, and not Hillary Clinton (the rightful heir to the White House), was elected in the first place.

Brave first-term progressive congresspersons will soon introduce a bill to do away with the electoral college to insure that we get the right kind of president in the future, if not right now. “So, like, the electoral college represents like, literally only rich old white men, and must be stopped.” revealed a source close to the sponsors of this woke bill.

To make sure that future presidents represent what is best for everyone, which is of course diversity, the vote for president would rightfully be determined by the Globalization Council of the United Nations.

The United Nations should choose the president; it’s the only way to respect diversity

  • insider at a progressive Washington think tank.

The UN Globalization Council will be comprised of French President Emmanuel Macron, former German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Turkish leader Erdogan, Justin Trudeau of Canada, North Korean strongman Kim Jong-Un, and Raul Castro, First Secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba. “We felt it important for democratic socialist leaders to pick the next president; they understand America’s needs”, revealed a source close to the First Term Congresspersons of Color Caucus (FT COCC).

The Progressive caucus is off to the kind of strong start we had all hoped for, already drafting bills to begin banning guns, and even to wear muslim head scarfs in congress. NPC Daily will continue to report on these positive developments as they unfold.

Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
Back to top button