Cultural push to make the next James Bond a disabled transgender person of color

It's time for a new look for the 007 franchise

It’s no secret that all of the actors who portrayed all of the 007 agents were white men – and these white men portrayed James Bond as a misogynistic womanizer who bled toxic masculinity. It’s 2019, Gillette has publicly came out against toxic masculinity, toxic masculinity is at an all time low – it’s time for the next James Bond to be played by a disabled transgender person of color. It’s intersectionality at its absolute finest.

This would accomplish many things at once. First off, it would prove that you don’t have to be a straight white male to be a badass super hero tech spy. Secondly, it would give the LGBT and POC community an idol to share and look up to.

That’s why there is a cultural push from many like-minded liberals from across various universities who are submitting screenplays and ideas for the new transgender James Bond. These stories range from Bond taking part in the Women’s March and staging an elaborate take-down plan against President Trump, another story involves James Bond undergoing gender transformation surgery, falling pregnant, giving birth to what would be the villain of the movie only to find out that the villain is an identical step brother to Donald Trump and the only way to stop him would be to have him spill his feelings at a UC Santa Cruz cry closet. This is the type of Oscar-winning film concepts we need.

If the cultural push is successful, the name James Bond will become synonymous with the LGBTQ community and the Black Lives Matter crowd – and nothing does a classic movie hero justice quite like a progressive liberal story arch.

Readers of NPC Daily,
If a small amount of our regular readers became subscribers on Subscribestar, we'd have enough funding to no longer be dependent on annoying Google ads cluttering your reading space and we will be protected against deplatforming. Will you subscribe on Subscribestar?
Support NPC Daily
Get NPC Daily straight to your inbox


The creator of NPC Daily. The mastermind behind the entire NPC Daily movement. Yes, this entire website is satire and not meant to be taken seriously. It's for fun. Chill. See "about" page for more details. Now that we got that taken care of, repeat after me: "Orange man the absolute worst."

Related Articles

Back to top button