Why MAGA hats need to be banned to save America

It's time to admit that MAGA hats are a symbol of hate

Written by Neville Percival Croft

It is said that history repeats itself, and no more is this apparent than in the troubling times we face today. We are currently witnessing the 1930s all over again, and this time America is leading the charge towards a fascist future. For a long time, many talented liberal intellectuals and academics have stated that the dreaded MAGA hat is the modern-day equivalent of the swastika. This, of course, couldn’t be any more true.

This man was taken to a hospital after a person wearing a MAGA hat made eye contact with him

During the rise of Nazi Germany, swastika-wearing thugs would attack innocent civilians, and this is precisely what is happening now, only the perpetrators are wearing MAGA hats. Far-right Trump supporters are going around threatening, blackmailing and oppressing ordinary folk and this needs to end. This is why the editors of NPC Daily propose a full end to the selling and distribution of MAGA hats. Doing so will help prevent incidents like the near-death experience of Vietnam veteran Nathan Phillips, who was recently traumatized by a weaponized smirk.

NPC Daily managed to interview a professor of feminist literature on her thoughts about a potential MAGA hat ban.

Praise Obama, it needs to be done to save our youth. I’ve had many tragic incidents where my students would come crying or in shock to class after evil MAGA hat-wearing fascists tried to debate them. Fortunately, we have our top-of-the-line safe spaces for our students to heal and recover. Without them, I doubt our students would have survived to tell the tale.

  • Margret Agatha Galactica Augustus PhD, professor of feminist literature and part time activist.

Many other great liberal minds gave out their own thoughts on Twitter about the devious red hats that have been the latest tool in the system of oppression. Here are the most informative and convincing tweets we have found which will surely re-educate even the most bigoted of alt right Nazis.

There you have it my dear reader. If that surely didn’t convince you to burn one of those disgusting, xenophobic, racist, sexist, bigoted, discriminatory, islamophobic, hate-inciting, transphobic, furryphobic, misogynistic caps of pure unadulterated evil then there is no hope for you. May Obama have mercy on your soul.

Diversity is our strength.

Neville Percival Croft is a political commentator for NPC Daily and enjoys holidays to Venezuela, re-educating fascists and hugging trees. Please never assume xir gender.

Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.
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