“Everything will be perfect all the time for everyone everywhere” America on Democratic Socialism

A glimpse of what America will be like when we inevitably adopt the Green New Deal and Democratic Socialism

It’s no secret that Donald Trump has ruined America almost beyond reparation and recognition, however, there is hope. With the likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the new presidential bid of Bernie Sanders 2020, future to believe in is right around the corner.

America on Democratic Socialism will be the Utopian paradise of which our founding fathers envision. We have spoken with a series of liberal arts majors from UC Irvine and have figured out what America will look like when it finally adopts the glorious wonders of Democratic Socialism.

America on Democratic Socialism

You will wake up in the morning whenever you feel like it, knowing full well that your gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or identity will not hinder your progress in society. You will look at your bank account on your government issued smart phone in your home paid for by the government and smile. Why will you be smiling? You will be smiling at the direct deposit you have just received from the government since you qualified for the “Unwilling to Work” segment of the Green New Deal.

You will look outside your window and see for miles as pollution has been eliminated. America’s carbon footprint will have vanished as every car, train, plane and boat will be 100% solar powered with zero emissions. Everyone will be vegan.

You will walk outside calmly knowing that the climate is stable since the climate was, and has always been fully dependent on America’s carbon output. Now, it’s clean. You inhale the fresh air as you see every other multicultural neighbor on the street doing the same. You see the newspaper at the end of the driveway. You pick it up and smile once again.

The US national debt has risen to $970 trillion but that’s totally fine. Why? Because everyone on American soil will have free education, free health care, free housing, free food and free clean transportation.

The borders are gone and since America is a Democratic Socialist Utopia with free handouts everywhere you look, migrants from around the world are swarming in. The population doubles, triples, then soon rivals that of China and India, eventually surpassing them both in the years to come. ICE is abolished, immigration now takes the form of a new “everyone is welcome all the time” policy.

Crime is at an all time low, guns are abolished, racism has ended and abortion laws loosen up to be performed up to six months after birth. Progress.

You walk back to your house confidently knowing that everything in America is free. You sit on your couch with that smile on our face as you hear one of your culturally enriched neighbors have his way with your wife from your side of the wall but it’s okay. Why? Because as you sit on your couch sipping your government coffee, you can rest well knowing reparations are finally being paid. Everyone is equal. Everything is free. Everything is perfect all the time for everyone everywhere.


The creator of NPC Daily. The mastermind behind the entire NPC Daily movement. Yes, this entire website is satire and not meant to be taken seriously. It's for fun. Chill. See "about" page for more details. Now that we got that taken care of, repeat after me: "Orange man the absolute worst."
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