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Why invading China and India might be the next step in the name of progress

If we wish to fight climate change, we should consider fighting those contributing to it most

True Patriot Wear

Written by R Personified

True progressives have reached a critical juncture in the quest for a perfect and just society. Generally one would not view war as means to this cause. It is time to set aside that view for the time being. Why, one may ask, should America resort to tactics previously used by conservatives in their bloodlust? The answer should be obvious to anyone who visits NPC Daily: climate change.

Why? Because as the woke congresswoman AOC has declared, stopping climate change through a Green New Deal is the next step in establishing a utopian socialist paradise. It is only logical that we spread this progressive bounty of change to China and India. It is time to spread our wings and expand our country’s borders in the name of progress.

China and India are the worst offenders regarding dirty energy. You can literally feel the air pollution coating your lungs as you walk down the streets of cities such as Beijing and New Delhi. Even though the US pollutes to a large degree, it is at least headed in the right direction (despite the current administration’s efforts to ruin Obama’s legacy).

China produces and utilizes more coal energy than any other country in the world. Donald Trump seems to be attempting to overtake China in that arena, sadly enough. Once Trump is ousted from his dictatorial chair, American policy will drastically change for the better. What can we do in the meantime? Take over the governments in China and India. We would, of course, allow their rich culture and customs to flourish, but the coal industry will be dismantled speedily and expeditiously, as well as fossil fuels in general.

This is what “clean coal” looks like. Ew. So dirty.

Everyone knows that there is no such thing as clean coal. It is black and dirty. Anyone who doubts this should try smearing coal across his/her/their/its/xir/rir forehead. It is guaranteed to leave a mark. Trump is knowingly spewing out disinformation each and every time he says the moronic words “clean coal.” Nuclear energy is also not a feasible option due to the fact that Democrats in power and mainstream media both tell us so.

That leaves solar and wind energy. Solar panels and wind turbines should be scattered across China and India once the governments are conquered. There is plenty of land, so this shouldn’t be a problem. Since liberals across the planet vastly outnumber conservatives, the natives of these countries will ensure a rapid transition of power.

In conclusion, for all you doubters out there, just give these ideas a chance. Invading China and India would be advantageous in winning the climate change battle, and it would be a huge boost to our economy. Think of the huge population in these two countries. Everyone knows that large populations of people, no matter their skill-set or values, are beneficial to the economy. Who knows? Maybe Mexico and Canada will be next, and then all other countries will fall in line! Imagine having one common world country with so much diversity uniting us all! Ultimately, this is the common goal which progressives and Democratic leaders continuously strive for. May it happen speedily before Trump permanently ravages our beautiful Earth.

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R Personified

R Personified is literally the personification of the resistance movement against the unpopular and immoral Donald Trump. R's resisting ability has been greatly amplified over the course of Trump's administration, taking objective journalism to heights the world has never seen in its entire existence. R is a proud vegan and will unabashedly smash any dairy product in sight. He is immensely open and tolerant to anything and anyone, unless you're a homophobic, xenophobic, carnivorous, pouncing, patriarchal, Trump-loving fascist. This entire site is satire.

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