Culture

Brave millennial sells testicles to raise money for Bernie’s 2020 campaign

Another powerful progressive showing support for a future to believe in

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Bernie Sanders is breaking records left and right. When it comes to the rate at raising money for his campaign, he takes the cake hands down. He announced a matter of weeks ago and he is already at nearly 30 million in donations – most of which coming from millennials donating everything they have for the cause they believe in.

NPC Daily has reported stories of forward-thinking liberals who have donated their entire student loans to the Bernie Sanders campaign, some who have takenout multiple mortgages on their property as well as some who have donated their family’s money.

There have been numerous millennials who have sold their organs such as kidneys, liver parts, skin grafts and hundreds of thousands of gallons of blood. This report is gathered from the quote of a brave millennial who sold both of his testicles to raise money for the Bernie Sander’s 2020 campaign.

My heart is set and my mind is made up. Bernie’s promises will make our country into what our founding fathers envisioned. I already donated my life’s savings to the Bernie 2020 campaign but I wanted to donate more. Since I don’t have any personal property and I work a minimum wage job, I sold both of my testicles for $10,000 each and donated all of it to Bernie’s campaign. I’m a little sore but I know it will be worth it in the end.

  • Jared Michelle, 28, NYU

It’s a wonderful sacrifice for a wonderful cause. If Bernie Sanders wins the election, there will be medicare for all and everything will be free for everyone. That means Jared will actually get his testicles back if Bernie Sanders wins in 2020. As progressives, we can think of no better way to show support for a future we can all believe in. We can only hope that liberals across the nation will follow in Jared’s footsteps.

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NPC

The creator of NPC Daily. The mastermind behind the entire NPC Daily movement. Yes, this entire website is satire and not meant to be taken seriously. It's for fun. Chill. See "about" page for more details. Now that we got that taken care of, repeat after me: "Orange man the absolute worst."

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