Written by Jeremiah Harding
I’m a social justice media guru, and that lets me be on the forefront of the Rethuglikkkan global takeover, sometimes seeing the trends that don’t make me need a safe space. Today, I saw a tag that required the attention of the real wokest bae, so I figured I’d chime in, if that’s okay – if not, I apologize for violating your consent… consider my privilege checked. That topic though? National Cereal Day.
It’s definitely using white milk, as an obvious statement of supremacy (unless you’re woke enough to Yoohoo), and it’s also primarily sold by white dominated corporations, sending money to the heterocapitalist neouronormative patriarchy, so I don’t like it already, even though it’s tasty. Tasty oppression is still murder.
But what message would it send to condemn it entirely? I’m a huuuge Vox fan – slaying as always – but at the same time, what even is this tweet?
How is this not fat shaming? Womyn systers shouldn’t have to worry about getting sideways glances because we decided to throw our weight around until it hit theirs, right? This is calorie-counting enslavement, and literally fascism, and I think I should be upset, maybe, but I don’t know.
Still, with all the cereals promoting racism or appropriating cultures (looking at you Apple Jacks – Rasta is a culture, not a mascot), and addicting people to capitalism, I’m not so sure this isn’t a bowl of police brutality! And why aren’t schools serving vegan milk options yet? PETA should S.U.E.!
But ultimately, as a heteronormative, white, cisgendered, toxically male, able-bodied ex-Christian with White Jesus appearance, my existence is a greater sin than Cinnamon Toast Crunch. So I defer to you – if you’re woker than me, check my privilege in the comments! What is my male gaze missing?
Jeremiah Harding is an angry anarchist voice and GamerGate supporter with weekly podcasts and articles.
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