Culture

“I can’t believe they would lie on applications!” Elizabeth Warren outraged about college admissions scandal

"Admission should only be based on merit"

We all enjoy listening to Elizabeth Warren – and Senator Warren, 2020 Presidential Hopeful, always tells the truth. The busy Senator, who manages to perform her busy Senator’s duties representing people of the State of Massachusetts in the Senate, with running for President, helping to fight greedy large employers, and fighting for working families in ways they understand and appreciate, also takes time to give her opinion on important social justice matters. She is simply amazing.

All that is in addition to managing a warm home life with her dog, Bailey, and husband, Bruce, in their cozy Boston home. We caught up to her outside her mansion and she graced us with a few words through a beautiful wrought-iron fence.

We were talking about the recent federal sting which caught 50 miscreants who were actually cheating to get in to really elite colleges by falsifying their applications with biographical information that was not true and accurate. This is almost unimaginable that any one (much less 50 applicants!), would fabricate a college application to get ahead of other, deserving applicants by telling lies.

Despite being a hard working Senator who makes time to campaign a little bit for her run for the Presidency, she is so woke that she keeps up to date with everything that is going on in America. Her moral outrage was kindled about these college application embellishers. “Only a really despicable, morally bankrupt person would include false information on something as important to our entire nation as a college application, or even a job application. I am aghast!”, the Senator seethed, pausing briefly to buzz Bruce and Baily through the majestic 12 foot high wrought iron gate that surrounds her beautiful, well-earned $3,000,000.00 Boston home.

How could someone think they could get away with such a wretched lie? And even when they were caught red-handed they persisted in sticking with the falsehoods! Only when they got arrested did they even start to walk these lies back.

  • Elizabeth Warren, Presidential Hopeful

Senator Warren is also uniquely qualified to give her opinion on this topic, having earned her way fair and square to admission to fine universities. She was even a Professor (of color). Not even Trump would dare to argue with her about issues of the right way to apply to college!

“I will fight for working families and punish greedy corporations!” Hearing her famous and brilliant quote in person nearly left me in tears of joy.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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