Politics

Elizabeth Warren attends smoke signal festival on the campaign trail

Democrat candidate continues her noble quest to defeat Trump in 2020

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Written by Neville Percival Croft

Elizabeth Warren has made no reservations in her bid for the presidency and is doing anything she can possibly do to get her bold campaign rolling. Just recently, Mrs. Warren has decided to visit her Cherokee roots and visited the Cherokee tribe HQ in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. There she attended one of their smoke signal festivals in a brave attempt to boost her totem poll numbers.

NPC Daily reporters spoke to the Chief, a chap named Slap-a-ho, and asked him about how the festival went with Mrs Warren.

At first I was confused, she didn’t look Native American at all! She said that she took a test so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. The festival went great, Mrs. Warren really knew how to make a good smoke signal. That 1/1024 really came out strong today it seems!

  • Chief Slahp-Aho, Cherokee Nation

Mrs. Warren was also sure to bring along her husband Bruce – yes she has a husband and she really wants the world to know how great he is. Together, the two defiantly campaigned for a fairer society by promising to expel bigoted white individuals and vowed to reclaim the land from the hands of the orange menace. Afterwards, they sat on a log and shared some ceremonial fire water that the Chief called Jack Daniels.

READ: “I can’t believe they would lie on applications!” Elizabeth Warren outraged about college admissions scandal

READ: Elizabeth Warren is our only hope to defeat Trump in 2020

Once her visit was over, Warren bid her farewell to the tribe and set off into the horizon to continue the astounding war path of the campaign trail. NPC Daily stands strong with Elizabeth Warren and is willing to share a beer with her any day of the week. We wish her the best of luck and hope that she eventually ends Trump’s horrendous reign of tyranny.

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Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.

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