Culture

Alyssa Milano launches new sex strike to fight the patriarchy

A critical blow to the Trump regime

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In a stunning and daring move, Alyssa Milano has launched the ferocious new sex strike campaign to defy the slithering tentacles of the patriarchy. The aim of the sex strike is to demonstrate to old, bigoted cavemen that they do not control women’s bodies with the main objective being to starve conservatives of sex. Maybe, just maybe, the right wing fascists will finally start to understand basic women’s rights and switch to the morally correct left wing. That way they will abandon their hate and join the right side of history.

Look at what you’re missing out on now bigots

In order to understand the deeper meanings of the sex strike, NPC Daily reporters managed to interview Alyssa Milano xirself in an exclusive NPC Daily interview.

Like literally I just can’t even anymore, our feminist ancestors didn’t fight for our like rights for the bad orange man and his Nazi minions to like take them away. This… This is like why Hillary should have won… It was her turn… IT WAS HER TURN! IT WAS HER TURN!

  • Alyssa Milano, person of color, person of trans, lesbian, gay man, physically and mentally disabled.
The essence of bravery

Sadly, Alyssa started foaming at the mouth and stormed out in a fit of righteous activist rage. Xe hastily made xir way to the nearest cry closet available. Eager to learn more about the effects of the sex strike on the very fascists it’s targeted against, our reporters decided to go out and see for themselves. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

READ: Alyssa Milano bravely comes out as a differently-abled FTM lesbian immigrant of color

READ: The Honkley Meme is a symbol of white supremacy

All across the streets were sex starved conservative bigots desperately clinging onto their toxic masculinity. Several of our person of vagina reporters were also almost sexually assaulted by weaponized rape stares. It seems as though the sex strike is performing marvellously, and even our male employees are participating alongside brave online resisters such as the stunning Krassenstein sisters!

NPC Daily wishes Alyssa Milano all the best with xirs sex strike and urges all men to participate for the good of humanity.

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Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.

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