Culture

Why Sonic the Hedgehog is our most anticipated progressive liberal movie of the year

Gotta go woke!

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Hollywood isn’t exactly known for its diversity. White men dominate modern movies and this has only gotten worse since Trump stole the election. For a long time, tolerant liberals have come out in droves to create the change we so desperately need, but Hollywood still refuses to listen to our completely reasonable threats and demands. After a horrific Avengers Endgame box office due to a lack of diversity, it seems they have finally decided to take our advice by creating the most progressive movie of the year: Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic the hedgehog is by far our most anticipated movie of the year due to a myriad of reasons. Obviously, we love and support it because it is the first movie in human history to star a furry as it’s lead character. Now that is progress! Furries are constantly at risk in Trump’s America and are quite possibly up there with Greysexual Novigenders as the most oppressed ethnic minority in the world. Seeing Sonic helping end furryphobic intolerance has made me cry rivers of joyful tears.

If Trump was a scientist.

To make it even better, the main villain is Dr. Eggman, an evil fascist who represents everything wrong with our modern society. He’s white, male, likes to experiment on animals and hunt Furries. I have no doubt in my mind that Dr. Eggman is secretly a Trump supporter, and I’m expecting a full hour long monologue of him planning to build a wall to keep people of fur out.

We asked several die hard liberals their opinions so we could get an overall consensus as to how Americans feel about the movie. One such unique individual was the chairperson of the Furry-Transgender alliance: Clyde Uric Carter Kevinson who goes by xir fursona “Blaze Thunderwolf”. It’s safe to say xe was very passionate about this movie.

I probably won’t see the movie whenever it comes out but I love how they preach animal rights and Furry tolerance! This is exactly what we need to keep ourselves sane in Drumpf’s tyrannical reign!

  • Blaze Thunderwolf, chairperson of the Furry-Transgender alliance

Several NPC Daily reporters have already booked tickets in advance and plan on wearing our very own Fursuits to commemorate this grand occasion.

NPC Daily reporters attending a protest against Furry oppression

The chances of this movie succeeding at the box office is guaranteed and critics will most certainly be cheering on the wellspring of diversity, tolerance and inclusivity the movie has to offer. The only thing that could make it better would be a genderqueer Furry of color but right now, Hollywood is taking its first baby steps. There’s always Sonic the Hedgehog 2 after all!

For all things progressive, keep up with NPC Daily to keep track of the issues that matter most.

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Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.

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