Culture

Diversity experts suggest that Thanos is actually a progressive liberal homosexual

It's the only reason for Avengers: Endgame's box office success

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Perhaps Marvel may have done something right. After seeing our slight miscalculation of Avengers: Endgame’s box office numbers, it appears there may be a reason for the movie’s raging success. Marvel may have finally come to their senses and caved to the demands of the morally right progressive left by making Thanos a flamboyant homosexual in the Avengers finale.

If we were paying attention, we could have seen this coming. Thanos, the primary antagonist of the Avengers series, spent his entire existence chasing down a golden glove to decorate it with multicolored gems – resembling that of the rainbow flag. Why would Marvel choose these colors? Why every main color? Why not just all red or all blue?

The infinity stones are rainbow colored because Marvel clearly wanted to spread awareness of gay rights and marriage equality. If we step aside from the main story line of Avengers just for a second, you don’t have to think too hard in order to come to the obvious conclusion that Thanos is a gay titan.

READ: IT’S OFFICIAL: Disney announces Elsa will be a lesbian in Frozen 2

READ: Disney announces that Woody will be “openly bisexual” in Toy Story 4

A team of diversity experts from University of California, Santa Cruz concluded that Thanos was gay from their research:

The infinity gauntlet is nothing more than a shiny glove with rainbow gems. It’s brave of Marvel to make the big “badass” of the saga depicted as a raging homosexual. This is the only explanation for Avengers: Endgame’s groundbreaking success.

  • Aron Lawrenceness, President of UCSC Diversity for Today’s Tomorrow

Stan Lee would be proud of the team’s research. Does this mean that we may see more Marvel movies with flamboyant non-cis-gendered individuals? Perhaps we will see a transgender disabled hero of color as the next bit Marvel blockbuster? Time will tell.

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NPC

The creator of NPC Daily. The mastermind behind the entire NPC Daily movement. Yes, this entire website is satire and not meant to be taken seriously. It's for fun. Chill. See "about" page for more details. Now that we got that taken care of, repeat after me: "Orange man the absolute worst."

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