Culture

Why binary code is a weapon of the patriarchy

Never before have numbers been so oppressive

True Patriot Wear

Diving into the depths of progressivism can be a very tiring task. Trying to uncover racism, misogyny and transphobia at every turn can leave many unique individuals stressed from the unrelenting hate. However, the results are rewarding and can help save humanity from itself. Recently, our very own magnificent NPC Daily researchers have unlocked the secrets to mathematical hate. They discovered a dark truth: binary code is actually a weapon of the patriarchy.

Being the hardcore liberals we are, it’s our moral duty to point out each and every spec of alt-right bigotry that we see and binary is no exception. For too long has it been a sadistic weapon of the patriarchy, and this desperately needs addressing. The horrific use of 1s and 0s symbolises the abhorrent idea that there exists only two genders. How revolting and deceitful! Not to mention that the 1 dominates, once again demonstrating the sinister themes forced upon unsuspecting persons that the original creators wished to spread like plague.

Esteemed NPC Daily journalist Resistance “R” Personified was a major part of the research process and released a statement regarding the issue.

I had a dream last night of a new nonbinary code. There were lesbian unicorns and rainbows and rivers of soy! I can’t wait until that dream becomes reality!

  • R Personified, NPC Daily journalist

There you have it, my dear readers. While we here at NPC Daily prefer to use our feelings for most cases, the facts here are irrefutable. A new, more inclusive form of binary code is much needed and there are endless possibilities. We could have two 0s to bring awareness to lesbian struggles or an all new 0 that is just a bit wider to represent women of size. Just imagine how much more effective that would be!

We urge all persons of math to push for a new binary code so that the old, evil code is torn down and it’s influence eviscerated. Keep up with NPC Daily to never miss the news that matters!

Readers of NPC Daily,
If a small amount of our regular readers became patrons on Patreon, we'd have enough funding to no longer be dependent on annoying Google ads cluttering your reading space. Will you become a patron for $5 a month?
Support NPC Daily
Get NPC Daily straight to your inbox
 

Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.

Related Articles

Back to top button
Close