Culture

Why conservative satire is just racism and bigotry

It's time to admit that any time Conservatives try to make a joke, it's automatically racist and hateful.

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Written by Neville Percival Croft

Liberal humor is by far the only humor that matters. We have comedic brilliance such as the hilarious Amy Schumer, the witty Stephen Colbert and the ground-breaking John Oliver. With these masterminds on our side, the right doesn’t stand a chance. Quite literally, the right can’t joke the correct way so they resort to using harmful hand gestures, racist toads and attacking oppressed minorities for fun.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn't look like a donkey
This is just one example of a sickening meme belittling a marginalized congressperson of color.

Usually we need the wisdom of the all-knowing blue checkmarks on Twitter to validate our opinions and thoughts. After all, the checkmarks are all too familiar with conservative bigotry and recently a very brave, daring and bold young checkmark sped out of xirs safe space to confirm this.

Conservative comedy bad

Sadly, the noble checkmark came under the false pretense that our intensely accurate and completely unbiased news source is somehow satire. (LOL) This is false. Yet another lie spread by the alt-right to deny our existence. Our top-notch journalists such as myself, Jared Michelle, Quinn and Resistance “R” Personified would never dream of telling a lie to our beloved readers. Hearing a checkmark, a member of a group of people of unassumed gender identities that I deeply admire, accusing us of being false breaks my heart. We here at NPC Daily deeply hope that the checkmark breaks free from xirs conservative brainwashing and sees NPC Daily for what it truly is: the most inclusive and diverse news source on the planet.

However, the series of tweets confirms everything our feelings believe, that conservative “comedy” is just a set of ruthless assaults on LGBTQRSTUV± folk, foreign born Americans and other marginalized groups which desperately need protection. In these dark days, we call for the solution: a ban on ALL conservative satire. Only then will these groups receive the protection they require.

Diversity is our strength.

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Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.

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