Iranian President endorses Bernie Sanders revealed the pair are cousins

BREAKING: in a bold move that will strike fear into Trump, Iranian President Hassan Rohani announced he supports Bernie Sanders for President. “We have found out through that we are cousins”, explained the Middle Eastern leader. “Any democrat would be better than Trump. Orange infidel bad.” Continued the President and Shiite religious leader.

While it might strike some as stunning that the Iranian President would back a Jewish man for President, Exalted Ruler Rohani explained: “This is simple, no Democrats like Israel. They complain about Israel like its their job. So it’s just a matter of which infidel to back. And “no” to any women, they have no rights. Also about the gay, “no”, for obvious reasons. I can’t be throwing one off a rooftop one day and then be like, “oh what a good gay President “ the next. And Booker looks pretty gay too. Biden seems like pedophile, which we execute just like the gays. Then when Amazon brought my results and I find out Sanders is my cousin, case closed.”

President Rohani will post a video on bitchute later today. “Youtube sucks, they want Biden to win so they will deplatform me, infidel bastards that they are.”

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
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