Culture

Facebook issues users license to kill

Enemies of Zuckerberg beware!

Swagnets

Mark Zuckerberg has once again demonstrated himself a true ally to the marginalized and oppressed with an update to Facebook’s Community Standards Policy allowing users to plot acts of “high-severity violence” against carefully-selected targets such as Milo Yiannopoulos, Alex Jones, and The Handsome Selfie Man Who Must Not Be Named.

READ: Tim Pool is a DANGEROUS hate agent who needs to be deplatformed

It is now perfectly acceptable to call for violence against or even threaten the lives of those Mark Zuckerberg has designated DANGEROUS hate agents — members of the cis white patriarchy who are guilty of literally assaulting us though memes and other forms of microaggression.

READ: Making memes is an act of aggression against marginalized minorities and should stop

Ideologically cleansing social media of unapproved opinions is the correct way to ensure free speech for everyone who isn’t a Nazi. And as the diagram below illustrates, Nazis are literally EVERYWHERE.

NPC Daily wholeheartedly endorses this effort to crack down on free expression by providing a safe space for those who would plot to assassinate the enemies of Mark Zuckerberg, and we look forward to seeing who else will be added to Mark’s personal fatwa list in the near future.

We also appreciate the measure allowing us (as distinguished members of the mainstream media) to select our own targets, as many would argue that serial rapist Brett Kavanaugh and unrepentant smirker Nicholas Sandmann got off far too lightly for their crimes against humanity.

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When NPC Daily gets an exceptional submission on the "submit an article page", it's posted from NPC Contributor. Everything on this site is satire.

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