Boris Johnson colluded with Putin to become Prime Minister

British Trump is already spreading the seeds of fascism in the UK

Written by Neville Percival Croft

The world is changing, and not for the better. Far right ideas and fascism itself hasn’t been this prominent since the 1930s and it’s only getting worse. Ever since Donald Trump colluded with Putin to snatch the 2016 election from the rightful winner Hillary Clinton (it was her turn), a tidal wave of hate has been unleashed. That wave is destroying Britain, especially after it recently elected a horrifying new Prime Minister.

Literally Trump

Britain has already declared its admiration of fascist ideals after the 17 million hate mongers decided to tear the country away from the glorious and tolerant European Union. Boris Johnson was at the tip of the spear of the Brexit propoganda machine and now he’s grasping for more power. It’s very likely that Johnson colluded with Putin to steal the position from his more progressive, unique and inclusive competitors.

A recent investigation by esteemed thought police officer Greyson Thinknot only proved this to be fact. Here’s what he had to say regarding his investigation:

Well well well, what’s all this then? I can confirm that Mr Johnson did indeed collude with the bad orange man to get into number 10. The investigation was bloody hard work I tell you. I didn’t get much evidence stuff until I saw a picture of him next to Trump. That’s when I knew the cheeky plonker colluded.

  • Greyson Thinknot, Chief of the South Yorkshire Thought Police interrogation unit.

The days ahead of us are only going to get darker. Beacons of progressive hope such as Bernie Sanders, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Guy Verhofstadt gift us with bastions of knowledge and strength, but we wonder if this is truly enough to save us. The alt-right only seem to be getting more devious and the future seems bleak.

Be sure to consume as many soy lattes as possible to stay sane and never stop protesting comrades. Only through vigorous protests will we truly see change. I will be spending the rest of my day in my personal, customised cry closet, complete with CNN broadcasts and a safe space kitten. I recommend you all do the same to grieve.

Diversity is our strength.

Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.
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