Culture

Life of Jeffrey Epstein movie announced as Hollywood elites mourn the loss of highly connected alleged pedophile

Friends of the late American financier were hoping that the Epstein trial would help make pedophilia a little less taboo, but now, it looks like Hollywood will just have to wait until the movie comes out.

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After the untimely death of American financier Jeffrey Epstein in early August, Hollywood superstars and coastal elites felt an all-too-familiar pang of sadness. One less man with powerful connections in the world, and no more exciting parties or private island visits on private jets with the legend himself. Now, Hollywood elites will only be able to relive the fun in the 2020 movie announced late Sunday night, rumored to be produced by Blumhouse.

The creators of The Hunt, a film recently postponed from release due to its apparent depiction of elites killing Deplorables for sport, Blumhouse is known for its attachment to heavily politicized and controversial movie plots, so it’s no wonder they might be the first to pick up a script based around Epstein’s life. One thing is for certain, this movie will be packed with stars, and will have tons of opportunities for child actors to really showcase their acting chops.

As soon as word was out about the movie, crowds holding pictures of Epstein began to appear all over Hollywood to celebrate. Chants of “Ep-stein! Ep-stein!” were heard all along the strip. The weekend he died, every coffee shop and bar in LA was ablaze with discussion about him and his life. On the internet, people from all over the world discussed Epstein with passion and fervor.

The biggest question on everyone’s mind: just who will play the part of Epstein? Let us know in the comments who your pick would be. Stay tuned for more exciting news on the 2020 Epstein movie!

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Quinn

Quinn Barton is a social activist and member of Boston Antifa since its inception in 2017. She spends most of her time as a freegan at local vegan restaurants and the rest at demos for social justice. During the hardest years of her life (the Trump election), Quinn discovered a passion for politics, which has since transcended into videography and writing for the esteemed Boston Antifa collaboration with Dustin Levitt, journalist advocate for Journalist Excellence Worldwide. This entire site is satire.

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