Politics

Democrats push to ban pumpkins as they are too reminiscent of Donald Trump

"Celebrations of orange things are Trump's dog whistles"

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We all know that Halloween is just around the corner. Most people have feared the upcoming Halloween and its’ emblems,”jack-o-lanterns”, pumpkins and the like because as we all know, orange man bad.

As always, democratic socialists know what are America’s biggest problems, and propose the most common sense solutions ever to fix those problems. Any one who still watches CNN or MSNBC knows that.

Socialist leaders known as the squad have proposed a ban on pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns, and anything else orange effective immediately, in other words, in time for Halloween. “I am terrified when I see pumpkins, like they are totally always orange. They are not diverse and unique. I literally shake when I see one, and I know that only white supremacists make these. I want reparations!”, cried Nancy Putnam-Choad, a gender studies major at UC Irvine. Not to worry Nancy, democratic socialists have your back.

“See something, say something!” advised Noreen Peterson-Clapp, department head of intersectional non-binary gender strategies at UC Berkley. “We will need our students help to enforce this woke new law. If you see something that you think might be orange, tell on the perpetrator at once so they can be punished and removed from all social media.”

Stay tuned to NPC Daily to stay up to date with all things as they are banned or confiscated. Diversity is our strength. Orange man bad.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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