All Democratic presidential hopefuls favor staying at war in the Middle East forever, as do all Americans except Trump. So there was a lot of suspense in who the Kurds would support as the Democratic nominee. NPC Daily is delighted to announce that the Kurds have made their selection: Joe Biden!
“The choices were many as these Democrats, like is, all favor permanent warfare”, explained Najim Putros Chaldi, a Kurd demolition expert. “But look this Biden is committed to never withdrawing American troops from our region and our struggle. And he gave us as part of this deal a commitment of his own son Hunter, an American naval expert, as Admiral of our new Kurdish navy. It’s a win-win for everybody. All who don’t like war are pussies!”
“I won’t abandon the Kurds!” Declared Mr. Biden. “As President I will order a One Billion Dollar aid package to establish a Kurdish Navy. My son Hunter graduated from Yale Law School and served admirably in our Navy. He was a logical choice to spearhead this program. It is not because he is my son.”
The Kurds agreed that Hunter Biden as an Admiral will not be subject to drug screening. “We know he likes the crack cocaine. So what? We are not anywhere near an ocean so who cares?” Explained Kurdish General Nama Petra Chaldean, a woman of color. “Let’s fight!”
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