Donald Trump shared a doctored photograph on Wednesday afternoon featuring the current White House occupant bestowing the Medal of Honor upon a canine rumored to go by the name of “Conan” — though whether or not this is the dog’s true identity or merely an alias has yet to be confirmed.
Trump was ostensibly rewarding the dog for his role in the highly-controversial, extrajudicial assassination of austere religious scholar Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi — a move Nancy Pelosi called “inappropriate”, as Conan is currently the subject of a HPSCI probe into whether or not the five-year-old Belgian Malinois is indeed a good boy.
The image was naturally met with outrage from the left, particularly in the Midwest.
This is haram!
- Minnesota representative Ilhan Omar
Impeach the motherfucker!
- Michigan representative Rashida Tlaib
Others took to Twitter to point out that bestowing a military award upon an animal is explicitly forbidden under Pentagon regulations — and possibly an impeachable offense.
One brave journalist thought to question the image’s authenticity after discovering Trump’s schedule had made no mention of any such event.
Naturally, the administration blocked all angles of investigation, leading Mx. Herman to fellow journalist Arieh Kovler, who was able to confirm that the photograph was indeed a deep fake.
Armed with evidence of Trump’s wrongdoing and the courage of their convictions, Mx. Herman and Mx. Kovler brought the doctored photograph to renowned journalist and digital media expert Dustin Levitt, who ran a sophisticated computer analysis, uncovering a clue that would ultimately allow him to trace the image back to its source:
“I’m not surprised to find Ben Shapiro involved with a conspiracy of this magnitude,” Mx. Levitt said via email the following afternoon. “And he would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for my meddling comrades.”
Ben Shapiro is editor-in-chief for The Daily Wire (the official publication of The Daily Stormer) and a noted white supremacist. He has been the subject of several NPC Daily investigations, but up until now his activities have been covered by the First Amendment. Which is why we have been trying so hard to abolish the First Amendment.
“This is a clear violation of U.S. Code subsection 371 — conspiracy to commit offense or to defraud United States,” says NPC Daily legal analyst Andy Kuntz. “They also defrauded the global community, which is basically a violation of the Geneva convention. So they’ll probably be brought up on international charges once Trump’s been removed from office and Ben Shapiro’s been deported to Israel.”
As for the fate of Conan?
“It’s too soon to know for sure. But they say Adam Schiff is a cat person, so he’ll probably be put down.”
We’ll keep you posted on further developments.