Brave journalist sent to emergency therapy after being harassed by fascists


Written by Clyde Cox

Before we begin I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Clyde Cox, an aspiring journalist who has recently undertaken a prestigious apprenticeship with NPC Daily to make my dreams of spreading the truth come to life. I was pursuing a master’s degree in gender studies until I accidentally misgendered a colleague and was promptly kicked out — a decision I regret to this day.

Now enough about me. Recently my teacher, friend, and comrade Neville Percival Croft (Neville Percival Croft) was sent to emergency therapy after being targeted and harassed in the esteemed Journalist Excellence Worldwide Discord server. What was once a safe server for journalists to preach their wisdom and discuss the big issues has divulged into an alt-right recruitment ground.

It was a typical day in Neville’s life. Xe arrived at the safe server one morning to discuss the glories and values of journalism with xirs friend Dustin (Dustin), cousin Lindsey and many other knowledgeable and prestigious journalists. This innocent trip to the safe server turned into chaos. Alt-right bad actors laid siege to this once harmonious place for geniuses and polluted it with hate.

Instinctively Neville sprung into the fray and initiated one of xirs signature chants with xirs fellow journalists. This chant proved to be highly effective but it still didn’t deter or frighten many of the bad actors, fascists and Russian bots. This forced brave Neville to debate these hate preachers.

Sadly this didn’t work. The bad actors shrugged it off with cruel and cunning laughter and continued their assault. Backed into a corner with nowhere to go, Neville suffered a horrific sensory overload. Lawyer Andy is still gathering data on the offenders.

Tragedy then struck when Neville’s sensory overload reached its worst. Xe started shaking uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth before dropping to the floor in a pool of tears. Xirs safe server was ruined and hope was lost. Fortunately xirs friend Jared was passing by for a quick visit when he saw Neville collapsed in a ball on the floor. Quickly he contacted Neville’s therapist who arrived at the scene.

It was horrible, Clyde, good zir. I just wanted to talk about iconic journalists like Rachel Maddow, only to be harassed for being a differently-abled, gender minority journalist. They even mocked my two fathers! My two fathers! I’ve been suffering from PTSD symptoms ever since the event but I’m steadily recovering.

  • Neville Percival Croft, austere journalist and friend to marginalised persyns everywhere.

After being consulted by xir’s therapist, Neville was sent to a hospital ward to receive full time therapy. Xe requested non-binary Nurses to watch xir constantly whenever xe navigates the infested safe space server in case we suffers yet another anxiety attack. Each nurse has medical kits and breathing exercise manuals at the ready. Every day xe is visited by close friends who bring xir gifts such as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez badges and emotional support stuffed animals.

We here at NPC Daily wish Neville a swift and steady recovery and hope that xe is never again harassed, belittled and marginalised by bad actors.

Be sure to join the Journalist Excellence Worldwide server and thank a journalist today.

NPC Contributor

When NPC Daily gets an exceptional submission on the "submit an article page", it's posted from NPC Contributor. Everything on this site is satire.
Back to top button