Nancy Pelosi applies to Pope Francis for “Abortion Waiver” to take communion

Biden and other Dems expected to seek same waiver for pre-election selfies

Let’s face it: no one is a more devout Catholic than Nancy Pelosi. She prays for the country, San Francisco, and even the Bad Orange Man at every turn. She has taught us that some decisions, even somber ones like impeachment, cause her to pray.

But despite her pious devotion to prayer, a technicality in the Catholic Church, which alleges that aborting an infant is murder, has caused her, and other woke Democrats like Joe Biden, to be denied their right to communion, which is obviously a basic human right.

The brave Speaker of the House, taking a rare break from defending the Founders of our Constitution and justice, generally, filed a notice of appeal to the Vatican for an “Abortion Waiver”, which in Latin (the official language of Vatican appeals) is called a “Repulsa Homicidem Donari” (technically “Waiver of Murder”).

“We need pictures of the Speaker taking communion, but because of Trump (a non-Catholic), she can’t take communion. This is terribly inconvenient. The speaker prays for the bad orange man” explained an unnamed insider.

Other woke Catholics like Joe Biden have also faced this same Trump inspired oppression and been denied communion by Republican sympathizing Catholic priests. “Look, I get it.” explained Biden. “But denying me communion ignores climate science and I was President Obama’s best Vice President.”

“It’s not just about the wine”, explained a Pelosi insider. “We want the selfies of the Speaker taking communion. It’s becoming embarrassing.”

The appeal is expected to be heard by the Vatican Court of Appeals in time for Trump’s impeachment trial.

Stay tuned to NPC Daily for real time updates on Speaker Pelosi’s appeal.

Her body, her choice. Diversity is our strength.

Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
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