Get woke, go broke: capitalism is driving us into poverty

A heartfelt letter to our supporters

Social justice isn’t cheap, and NPC Daily has fallen upon hard times. Neville‘s safe space is out of crayons and R requires another sex change. Dustin’s grandmother is tired of paying Quinn‘s bail, and Trump is making it more and more expensive to smuggle Pepe back over the border every time he gets deported. Jared Michelle wants to go solo backpacking through the Middle East to spread awareness about LGBTQIAP+ issues, and Daily‘s wife has gone on an extended vacation with her boyfriend, so he’s looking to hire a detective to find out when they’ll be back.

Which is why we are asking our supporters to join us on SubscribeStar.

For as little as $1 per month, you can help finance Neville’s crayon addiction, reattach R’s genitals, post Quinn’s bond, pay off the coyotes, send Jared and his theyfriend Sharon to Qatar, and (hopefully) get Daily some answers.

Because Daily REALLY misses his wife’s boyfriend. So please, have a heart.

Staff Writer

One of our wage slave writers contracted with NPC Daily. Repeat after me - orange man bad. Everything on this site is satire.
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