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Bipartisan bill extends diplomatic immunity to all members of Congress

Laws for thee but not for me

After facing decades of unwarranted allegations of criminal conduct and corruption, Congress has ensured that our lawmakers will never again be threatened by unethical investigations.

Both the House and Senate have unanimously voted to extend diplomatic immunity to all members of Congress — past, present, and future.

“It was high time for this. I know from personal experience what frivolous accusations and investigations can do to the career of a ruler… I mean legislator.”

  • Former Representative Anthony Weiner

When approached for his opinion on this new legislation, presidential front runner Joe Biden had this to say:

“This is a great day for America! As a former senator myself, I can’t tell you what a headache it was to try and conduct the business of the country while worrying about trivial things like laws and whether or not the million-dollar gifts from lobbyists constituted bribes. It was just such a giant pain in the ass having to navigate the workarounds and form the shell companies.”

Sources tell NPC Daily that the current occupant of the White House is already planning to veto the bill, but with such historically-unprecedented support, the veto is certain to be overridden.

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NPC Contributor

When NPC Daily gets an exceptional submission on the "submit an article page", it's posted from NPC Contributor. Everything on this site is satire.

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