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Top 5 journalist news networks

An insightful list containing the best news networks to educate yourself with

We all love journalism. It’s no secret that journalists are the gatekeepers of our society, the light in the dark, the servants of knowledge, and the defenders of truth. This article is to celebrate the work and accomplishments of the world’s finest news outlets and so let us begin with a dishonorable mention and a disgrace to Journalism.

Dishonorable mention: InfoWars

The face of modern day fascism.

Alex Jones and his band of alt-right trolls have done nothing but stain the name of journalism with hate and bigotry. Sickening homophobia towards frogs, toxic masculine products, and weaponized tin foil hats are all too prominent and a mere view of an InfoWars video has given many real journalists extreme sensory overloads. Thank goodness fascist Jones got banned from everything. Now the world is a safer place.

5 – The Guardian

The Guardian is not afraid to tackle the big issues head on.

Where would we be without the Guardian? Their noble and brave writers have worked tirelessly to bring us the news we so desperately crave. Talented socialist minds like Owen Jones and Ash Sarkar really understand the mind of your average citizen and consequently have received nothing but harassment from bad actors. Please kindly give the Guardian a tip if you can, they’re broke.

4 – MSNBC

My Hero

MSNBC is one of the first news outlets to host a transgender individual as the lead reporter. Rachel Maddow is an inspiration to us all and zirs soothing voice is music to our ears. MSNBC was central in our understanding of the Russian collusion and without their knowledge, Blumpf would have gotten away with it. Marx bless you Rachel Maddow.

3 – BuzzFeed

Warriors of light in the battle against the darkness of toxic masculinity.

Their testosterone levels might be rock bottom but their bravery is through the roof. BuzzFeed is one of the best places to go to be educated by intellectuals. Articles such as “You might be cleaning your penis wrong”, “20 reasons why white people can’t be trusted”, and “What type of grilled cheese are you” are some of the greatest pieces of work in modern day journalism. I just still can’t understand why they fired me…

2 – Journalist Excellence Worldwide

Thanks to Dustin, we now know that journalists are more oppressed now than any other point in history.

The brave souls at Journalist Excellence Worldwide risk their lives on a daily basis to make sure that you are familiar with the correct opinions. Comrades Dustin and Quinn have paved the way towards a brighter future with their genius polls and they have tirelessly gone out of their way to inform you of the correct candidates to vote for, like Joe Biden. Unfortunately their discord server, Friends of Journalism, is under attack. Bad actors and trolls from alt-right hate boards have targeted their polls to further sow chaos. Please join the server to show your support for journalism and join the fight against hate.

https://discord.gg/Q38Qbw

1 – NPC Daily

Stunning and brave.

I know that NPC Daily is the best news outlet because NPC Daily said so.

Please remember to refer to this image next time you view an article.

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Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.

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