Elizabeth Warren criticizes Coronavirus Taskforce for lack of inclusivity, demands trans kids

Because Trans Lives Matter

The White House Coronavirus Task Force recently came under fire for its deplorable lack of diversity. Rightly so, given that the overwhelming majority of its members are cis white males.

This in itself is unsurprising, considering the Task Force is headed up by Mike Pence, the illegitimate Vice President who lost the popular vote to Tim Kaine. Pence is an avowed homophobe who lives with his mother, is likely an incel, and regularly dines at Chick-Fil-A.

READ: First forced “Gay-to-Straight Electrotherapy Mandate” bill proposed by Mike Pence

Progressives were quick to point out what a terrible pick Pence was to oversee a task force charged with preventing every man, womxyzn, child, and greysexual novigender from mutating into a hideous, xenophobic racist — which is the TRUE threat of the novel coronavirus, as the World Health Organization has repeatedly warned.

READ: How to talk about the coronavirus without being a massive racist

Some have suggested Democratic Socialist congresswomxyzn Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would have been far more qualified to lead the task force, having placed second in her high school science fair.

Perhaps Donald Trump’s unwillingness to appoint someone who fully embraces the strict mystery of gender stems from his belief that the coronavirus is (like climate change) merely a hoax. Trump’s disbelief (as with climate change) is likely to get us all killed.

READ: Trump uses coronavirus as pretext for new Muslim ban

But regardless of his reasoning — or lack thereof — Trump’s most vocal critic has been Elizabeth Warren, who takes matters of representation extremely seriously.

“We’re facing both a public health crisis and a potential economic crisis. We urgently need gender diversity at the table in public health and medicine — this isn’t it.” She went on to call for Mike Pence to be replaced by a 9-year-old transgender child who calls zirself Jacob. Warren had previously promised Jacob a cabinet position before misogyny put an end to her presidential campaign.

It is extremely unfortunate that Liz Warren is no longer running for the honor of defeating Donald Trump. She was the candidate with the strongest grassroots support and had a viable plan for literally everything.

READ: Elizabeth Warren floats idea of taxing Native American casinos to pay for her policy propositions

“Don’t discount Warren yet,” cautions Nico P. Crustiv of the National Policy Center, a progressive think tank largely dedicated to divorcing words from their referents, thereby converting them into meaningless jargon.

“The #WarrenOrBust movement remains a force to be reckoned with. Her endorsement of #BlueNoMatterWho rather than Joe Biden is a likely indicator that she will end up with a cabinet position no matter what — and possibly one for little Jacob as well.”

Staff Writer

One of our wage slave writers contracted with NPC Daily. Repeat after me - orange man bad. Everything on this site is satire.
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