Trump encourages COVID-19 patients to inject household cleaners directly into their veins

Donald Trump is trying to kill us all

At a Thursday afternoon press brief briefing, Donald Trump called upon COVID-19 patients to inject themselves with common household chemicals to help curb the spread of the deadly coronavirus.

No, he wasn’t citing a study suggesting hydrogen peroxide (which occurs naturally within the human immune system and has a long history of medical usage) as a potential treatment for the virus; he just wants people to inject themselves with Lysol so he can reopen the economy.

This is exactly like the time he tricked those two Democratic donors into drinking fish tank cleaner.

Trump then went on to claim without evidence that SUNLIGHT can cure the coronavirus. No, he wasn’t talking about the disinfecting properties of ultraviolet radiation, nor was he referencing ultraviolet blood irradiation — a practice that has been used to treat a number of diseases — he just wants people to break quarantine and enjoys offering false hope despite fully realizing the lifesaving properties of panic and mass hysteria.

Like when he claimed (also without evidence) that doctors who’d utilized the DANGEROUS prescription drug hydroxychoriquin in conjunction with azithromycin (another deadly substance previously unknown to the Food and Drug Administration) had observed a marked decrease in the severity of COVID-19 symptoms and the longevity of the illness.

Let’s see if it works. It might and it might not. I happen to feel good about it, but who knows?

  • Donald Trump, offering false hope and snake oil to the American people

Donald Trump is not a doctor. He isn’t even a legitimate president, having been impeached by House Democrats for the crime of investigating Joe Biden’s connections to a Ukrainian warlord who had managed to (temporarily) find his way onto a U.S. State Department visa ban list following a series of gruesome chainsaw beheadings.

That Senate Republicans proved derelict in their Constitutional duty to remove Trump from office — once again choosing partisanship over country — does not change the fact that he has been impeached forever. (Hillary won the popular vote anyway.)

How many more people must die because of Donald Trump? Because if these professed “cures” of his don’t kill us all, reopening the economy most certainly will.

Staff Writer

One of our wage slave writers contracted with NPC Daily. Repeat after me - orange man bad. Everything on this site is satire.
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