Queen Elizabeth endorses Joe Biden in a stunning display of bravery

The Queen is ridin with Biden

For the past few years, our society has been plunged back into the dark ages ever since the orange fascist seized the election using unconventional means. Trans persyns have been oppressed, POCs have been harassed, and Democrat politicians have been righteously crying in displays of stunning bravery. Luckily, there is a beacon of hope glistening in the shrouds of darkness: Joe Biden.

If we are to prevent the total collapse of our already fragmented, divided nations, we need to support Biden. It has always been our policy to vote blue no matter who, and it seems even Queen Elizabeth understands this very reasonable and completely understandable motive. In a stunning act, her majesty has made an announcement to the public in support of Biden himself.

It is with great pleasure that I endorse the right honourable gentlepersyn, Joe Biden. It is imperative that Mr Biden defeats Blumpf… Plumpf… Drumpf… Whatever his name is. I warn my American friends, if they do not vote Biden I will have no choice but to rebrand America a colony. Thank you for understanding my royal demands. Diversity is our strength.

  • Queen Elizabeth II, Registered Democrat, Intersectional feminist, Crumpet enthusiast.

There you have it, even the Queen herself has stepped forward to endorse the approved candidate. Do your part, undermine the verbal assaults harnessed by the alt-right and defend the integrity of Joe Biden. Our future depends on it…

Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.
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