It’s time to admit that Boris Johnson’s haircut is racist

Boris' haircut is problematic and we need to talk about it.

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has long been a controversial figure in the Conservative and Unionist Party of “Great” Britain. He’s proven himself to be racist and Islamophobic against the femxle Islamic persyns, famously saying “letterboxes”. Not only is he responsible for the rising tide of hate crimes against these sorts of oppressed minorities, but he also savagely attacked the JLGBTQ+ community calling all journalists “bumboys”, which shows his ignorance against the multiplicity of genders and sexualities that make up the Journalist community. This behaviour is unbefitting of a Prime minister, and the fact that Putin’s sinister forces chose to support him shows the extent to which he’s capable of damaging the multicultural society of the United Kingdom.

So, what does this have to do with his haircut, I hear you say? Well, you clearly don’t get it, do you? Do you seriously have that many blind spots to the struggles of POC and JLGBTQ+ pyrsons who are forced to put up with this government? You’re an idiot! Clearly Boris Johnson has proven himself a hate figure much akin to Tommy Robinson, Ben Shapiro, and other white supremacists! This has led to the Alt-right adopting his haircut as a way of dog whistling to each other that they support this white supremacist hate figure and a closed border policy that damages the prestige of POC and JLGPTQ+ persyns. Leading expert in hairdressing at my local pallor Linda said “What Hun? No way that is bang out of order, lovely” adding that “Boris’s haircut is disgusting and an insult to good hairdressers everywhere”.

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