Culture

LGBT Month Appropriated by BLM

NPC Daily is giddy with excitement to announce that June will be Black Lives Matters month!

June has long been the month where everyone finally stops giving all the attention to the cis-hetero community and dares to celebrate the more fabulous side of society. It’s a time for people of all ages to be exposed to endless street parades with a diversity of jiggly bits that are definitely not associated with any particular gender. It’s totally justified for this entire month to be one where we all give attention to the LGBTQIAP community because literally every other month is cis- hetero month and LGBTQIAP individuals hardly demand any attention during those months.

READ: Heterosexual liberal men are going “Gay for 30 Days” in support of Pride Month

In these unprecedented times, the voice of one religious leader has proposed the cancellation of LGBTQIAP month. While this may sound shocking, it must be noted that the religion of this leader is the beautiful religion of peace and not the cult of bigotry that Mike Pence serves, so it is impossible for us to accuse him of homophobia. He is also an individual of color so he literally built America.

First forced “Gay-to-Straight Electrotherapy Mandate” bill proposed by Mike Pence

Louis Farrakhan has called for June to be a month devoted to ending racism by sharing a number of hashtags and inviting brands that don’t wish to be white supremacists any longer to change their logos to black. June will be Black Lives Matter month!

In a statement, the respected elder has praised “the people of Lot” for accommodating his intrusion into their most sacred space. He definitely meant to say “the people of LGBTQIAP” but it is understood that there was a typo on his speech notes which were prepared by a white male. He went on to say that the month will also be a time of traditional mourning, including the wearing of new sneakers and the use of brand new electronic devices.

More rolling coverage of the end of racism to follow.

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Aisha Victim

Raised in poverty and fear, this 36 year old refugee is now seeking to use the noble art of journalism to spread the message of peace and collectivism from zher religion and former homeland to racist white people. Happily married for 30 years, zhe quickly recognized that Islam and socialism are the only way to defeat authoritarians like Trump.

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