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United Nations Welcomes Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone

UN to replace United States on Security Council with CHAZ

Let’s face facts: all Americans love an underdog. It is no surprise that every one in America is applauding the stunning and brave Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone (nicknamed “CHAZ” for brevity’s sake and for easier tweeting). And now for some even better news: the woke United nations have recognized CHAZ as a sovereign nation, and have welcomed CHAZ into United Nations membership.

The U.N. will also replace the United States on the Security Council, a move long overdue, with CHAZ. Under this new reorganization of the Security Council, the permanent members will be China, Russia, France, Sweden, and CHAZ.

“We recognize this new nation of CHAZ. We appreciate the way they have peacefully annexed land, and the solid job of border security they have put in place to keep the Americans out.”, explained the United Nations Secretary General. “Plus Trump’s America has stopped giving us money. CHAZ leader Raz Simone has told us he is about ‘gittin money’, which we look forward to.”

UN Secretary General

This is the kind of “feel-good” story we all need right now.

Stay tuned to NPC Daily for updates.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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