“History” classes to be banned in public schools under new bill

Democrats ban the past in a progressive effort to start fresh

Every day it seems like the news gets better and the future looks brighter, thanks to Democratic leadership across the country. Big city Democratic socialist mayors have shown exceptional leadership this year, banning all sorts of unnecessary activities and telling us when we can go outside of our homes. But Democratic congress persons haven’t just been lounging around on paid vacation.

Woke Democratic Congresspersons have unfurled a brave new plan: “We have banned the past. The past is racist, every one knows that. Plus Trump likes to brag about his record, which is all in the past. Effective next school year, history will not be taught in American public schools. The brainwashing must stop, explained Nancy Pelosi at her weekly press briefing.

Madame Speaker graced the press corps with a brief question and answer period. Some of the highlights of the brave journalists’ questions and Speaker Pelosi’s brilliant responses are featured here:

Journalist: What will the schools that have history books do with the books?

Pelosi: They will surrender the books to the nearest Democratic Party office, where they will be burned (applause followed).

Journalist: What about Vice President Biden’s stunning 50 years of success in Washington? Can he still talk about his “record”?

Pelosi: We have never been able to keep him from talking, but the covid mask and his inability to work a cell phone have been positive developments for the Party.

Journalist: So what do people who were history majors do with their diplomas, and part two of my question is how do they fill out job applications?

Pelosi: It will come as no surprise that Chuck Schumer and I have already figured all that out. They are to return there degrees to be properly amended to blot out that racist former major. We will change a lot of them to “COVID 19” instead of history. We already have lots of rubber stamps for that, so it won’t cost much to get that done.

Journalist: What will the former history teachers do once the schools re-open?

Pelosi: First of all don’t hold your breath anything is going to re-open any time soon. It won’t be safe to re-start the economy, schools, etc. until after the November election. That what the science says. Science, science, science.
Secondly, they can use the time they are locked up inside their homes to learn to code or whatever. Go figure it out. That is all.

Speaker Pelosi showed yet again why she is knows what is best for all of us.

Orange man bad. Blue no matter who. Diversity is our strength.

Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
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