The new nation of CHOP has reportedly decided on its inaugural form of rule, going for an updated form of democracy they call intersectionocracy. The decision from its headquarters in what used to be downtown Seattle was reached after several long late nights of talks fueled by mind-altering drugs, sources said.
“We got this like brand new kind of democracy, ya see, but actually better than the old regular kind, and it’s like a real-ass like world-historical moment know what I’m saying,” said one Chopian who participated in the talks but requested anonymity. “Everybody always bangin on about Hamilton and Jefferson and all them dudes damn, Founding Fathers ain’t got nuthin on CHOP.”
Intersectionocracy derives from a modernist political ideology called intersectionalism, which has gained total hegemony over college campuses in recent years. It formulates a hierarchy based on perceived levels of oppression or marginalization to determine whether a person’s opinions or worldviews are valid or not, and apportions power accordingly.
CHOP’s leaders say that intersectionocracy is designed to save the whole world from all the whack social problems that have plagued it for centuries, such as racial injustice and material inequality. Experts say they the new nation’s neighbors will need to promptly upgrade their still-problematic and racially systemic governing systems if they don’t want to fall way behind woke-wise.
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