Politics

BREAKING: Kanye West hastily taps Caitlyn Jenner as his running mate

Symbolizes transition of country toward LBTQIA+ form of rule

The hip-hop megastar Kanye West single-handedly queered the 2020 presidential election on Sunday by fingering Caitlyn Jenner as his prospective vice president. The announcement came as a shock, as West had only the day before announced – in an earlier shock – that he would be running for president.

The choice of the transgender woman whom Kanye is evidently related to by marriage or something represents a brave and stunning appeal to the intersectionalist community, woke experts point out. That constituency of the oppressed and marginalized has been growing recently by leaps and bounds, particularly on college campuses, where it now enjoys near-complete hegemony.

“A trans woman like Caitlyn in the White House would be transformational,” said a spokesperson for the West campaign who asked for anonymity. “The future is totally intersectional, so a West-Jenner ticket will speed America’s evolution away from democracy in favor of intersection-ocracy, like a new Manifest Destiny.”

One issue the West campaign will have to deal with is Jenner’s political orientation: Jenner is a lifelong Republican, paradoxically the party that takes positive glee in inflicting cruelty on LBTQIA+ folx. However Jenner is reportedly open to undergoing therapy to cure his disorder.

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