The Macarena named as NFL Latinx Anthem

LGBTP++ community demands one anthem for every known gender

Everyone loves the Macarena. So it came as no surprise to any of us when NFL Commisioner Roger Goodell announced that the Macarena will be played before all NFL games this season as the Latin-x National Anthem. “We will play this after the Black National Anthem and the 9 minute moment of silence, and before the Star Spangled Banner. All fans, players, coaches and staff will be required to dance the Macarena when it is played. Violators will be ejected under our new anti-racism policy.” Said a League source.

The move prompted more questions than answers however. A leading Gender Options professor at Cal State-Chowchilla, who identifies as the number 40 explained it best: “We are demanding equality. We demand 256 national anthems, one for each gender, it’s only fair. If the NFL denies our demand, then they are homophobic. And if they say they don’t have time for 256 anthems, they can just shorten, or even eliminate, the football games to meet our demands. I mean, what’s really important here?”

Native Americans, Pacific Islanders, Aleutians and Asians are expected to follow suit this week. We at NPC Daily will be monitoring this situation closely.

Diversity is our strength.

Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
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