House Democrats demand statehood for Mars

“They deserve statehood as a Planet of Color”, Pelosi

These are historic times. As brave Democrats prepare to vote for any one who runs against Trump, the woke Democratic Party leadership is making sure ALL voices are heard this November. To that end, Democratic leaders have advanced a Petition for Statehood from the planet Mars.

“This is based on the science. Science science science. Mars is a planet of color, and deserves to have a voice. They are very advanced, they have a capital city, a leader, and a population of four. We demand that Mitch McConnell put this to a vote. This needs to get done before November.” Explained Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “Mars is the Red Planet. Any one who opposes this is a racist.”

READ MORE: Planning for the POC colonization of Mars

All four residents of Mars will automatically be new members of the Electoral College, and have pledged their votes to Joe Biden. Mars’ Leader who goes by “Roswell” when communicating with earthlings issued a statement: “We are ready to vote in your November. In the past we have had to vote in Florida by absentee ballot. I have translated ballots into Modern Standard Martian. We can vote as many times as we need to do get this done.”

“Mars deserves a voice” explained Eric Swallwell, while wearing a spacesuit. “The bigotry that has plagued Mars since Trumps election must stop”.

Diversity is our strength. Orange man bad.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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