American Association of Poison Control Centers reports surge in accidental redpillings

Spread of facts and riot footage deemed more dangerous than COVID

Poison control centers across the nation have been receiving calls regarding accidental exposure to problematic content on social media — most notably video footage of the DNC-sponsored riots, but also unauthorized responses to public service announcements from our elected leaders:

“This afternoon I was made aware of concerns within the community that federal agents may be authorized to use live ammunition on demonstrators this evening.”

“Unidentified stormtroopers. Unmarked cars. Kidnapping protesters and causing severe injuries in response to graffiti… Trump & his stormtroopers must be stopped.”

According to a persyn of spokes for the American Association of Poison Control Centers, accidental redpillings are up nearly five-thousand percent for the month of July alone — the implications of which have public health experts alarmed.

“Raw footage is not safe for consumption by the general public,” NPC Daily legal analyst Andy Kuntz (who is also a doctor by virtue of his Ph.D in transgender advocacy) told NPC Daily.

“All video of politically-sensitive topics should be screened and selectively edited by approved journalism outlets — such as CNN and NPC Daily.”

READ: Not all facts should be reported equally: Let the approved journalists decide which ones you need to know

This is extremely dangerous to our democracy,” CNN’s chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta recently told Brian Stelter, host of the 87th most-watched cable news program in America.

“The CDC needs to declare another public health crisis. The only way to fix this is with a nationwide lockdown and a complete ban on in-persyn voting.”

FROM THE NATIONAL REVIEW: CDC Employees Call on Agency to Declare Racism a Public Health Crisis

But Mx. Kuntz does not believe these measures sufficient to mitigate the threat of burgeoning voter cognizance.

“Forget mail-in voting — what we need is email voting. It’s the only way to keep the Russians from hacking into the Post Office. Also, ban White House press conferences. That nasty pig of a womxyzn makes Acosta look like a jackass, and her recent stunt with the riot footage? Yeah, we’re suing over that too.”

Staff Writer

One of our wage slave writers contracted with NPC Daily. Repeat after me - orange man bad. Everything on this site is satire.
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