PERSPECTIVES: Trump supporters stole my mailbox

Lamentations of a Democratic voter

It’s no secret that Trump supporters are the most dangerous, intolerant, and violent people in America. Attacks on persyns of minority such as JLGBTQIA+ folks and POCs has become part of everyday life. During the golden era of the one true President (Obama), these sadastic acts of hate would have been unthinkable. Well, they have expanded their devilish tactics; now they are stealing mailboxes!

This morning, I awakened to see a truly daunting sight: my postbox had vanished and I was left with a terrifying note. This piece of hate paper had written on it “Trump 2020”. I knew instantly who the culprits were behind this devious crime. It goes without saying that I spent a lengthy period of time within the confines of my emergency safe space, desperately trying to make sense of the travesty I suffered.

Without my postbox, how am I supposed to read my NPC Daily newspapers? How am I supposed to know what the correct opinions and thoughts are? How am I supposed to know how bad Orange Man is? Right now action must be taken to prevent such atrocities from happening again. Tape your mail and postboxes to the wall, stick pictures of Biden on them to scare the Nazis away, and most importantly, report anyone you see wearing a red hat to the police.

America is now engaging in a postal war, and we cannot allow Trump’s unidentified stormtroopers to win…

Neville Croft

Neville Percival Croft is a brave, bold and daring reporter for NPC Daily after being laid off from BuzzFeed because of xirs apparently "overtly communist views". Nonetheless, Neville is a unique, freethinking individual that brings lots of cards to the table such as xirs ability to smash the patriarchy in less than 10 minutes and xirs prestigious Gender Studies degree helps xir to critically analyse and report in a completely unbiased fashion. Also, xe is a proud Greysexual Novigender and has a moderate soy latte addiction. Please never assume xirs gender. This entire site is satire.
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