Governor Whitmer puts entire state of Michigan in “Time-Out”

"Everyone can stay locked up in their houses until I see attitude change" says progressive strong man Whitmer

Her Eminence Governor Gretchen Whitmer has made sure Michiganders enjoy lots of freedom, some would say too much freedom, despite the Trump Virus. She banned people from spreading the virus (and from spreading bad ideas) by ordering everyone in Michigan, except obviously her husband, to stay indoors for most of 2020, until she determined it was safe to come out.

Instead of THANKING Her Excellency for this woke stewardship of Michigan, the red hat crowd has had the unmitigated gall to criticize her. So when Trump henchmen on Michigan’s supreme court tried to say that the Governor’s safety based stay inside orders violated the “constitution” (something Trump supporters are always complaining about), Governor Whitmer had the answer: “All of you are in timeout until further orders! Take your little constitutions and stand in the corner and read them until I say you can come out! Disobey not!”

Just like that, all is the way life should be again in Michigan. Orange man bad; NBA good.

Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
Back to top button