Culture

ABC buys Fox to eliminate Republican news

"Everyone needs to hear the same news every day"

We’ve all done it: while channel surfing looking for CNN or MSNBC, we have all stumbled onto the horrific “Fox News”, which often criticizes approved Democratic Socialist Party leaders. There is no shame if you have screamed and hidden in your basement after accidentally hearing such right wing bigotry.

Well fear no more. One of the Democratic Party’s approved main stream media giants, ABC news, has bought Fox to stop this conflicting wrong-think. We all know ABC is a trusted, socialist-approved progressive news source. “We couldn’t just sit back and watch this evil. Fox was killing us in the ratings, which is proof of how many Americans they have brainwashed into criticizing the government. We had to do something for the good of the Party.” shared an insider.

Trump and his right-wing racists criticized this stunning and brave move, but there is now no media outlet that will report their baseless gripes. Finally, we will all receive the same high quality journalism every day; there will no longer be a way to escape it, which is good for everyone, according to all remaining media sources. If we turn on our televisions, we will finally all see and hear the same news.

Orange man bad. No more “Fox News”. Diversity is our strength.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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